Thursday, November 15, 2012

Goodbye 23...

..hello 24! I really cannot believe that tomorrow I'll be 24 years old. I don't FEEL 24. One of my sweet kindergarten babies promised she'd still love me even when I was old "like 26" and quickly followed up by telling me how beautiful I am.

As excited as I am to see what my 24th year has in store..I'm pretty sad to see 23 go! A quick recap (not in order) of the most important things 23 had to offer:


  • I met the love of my life. How many people can say this happened to them at the age of 23? Blessed to say I can!
  • Just a few days after turning 23 last year, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. Quite an adventure!
  • I spent my 23rd year co-teaching in pre-k at Ramirez. Such a great school!
  • I lost 40 pounds and completely changed my lifestyle.
  • I bought my very own brand new (2013) car with no help from anyone. 
  • I got my first official teaching job as a kindergarten teacher! It still feels weird to say that I have a career now..and not just a job.
  • I had one of the best weeks of my entire life on the NKOTB cruise with my sister Kayla and our sister from a Canadian mister, Julia. Meeting all of the guys, dancing until the sun came up, and making new friends were more fun than I ever could have imagined. Can't wait to do it all over again in May!
  • I got to spend 2 wonderful weeks with my best friend in the entire world - Emma. She lives in Belgium and I don't get to see her very often, so those 2 weeks were definitely a highlight in my 23rd year. The best part? She's spending TWO MONTHS here this summer. TWO MONTHS. We're already counting down the days.
  • Chef Patrick came to visit and made lots of yummy food for us! We'll pretend everything he made for us was low in calories. ;)
  • I got an autograph from my hero, J.K. Rowling. I owe her so much. She also wrote "with lots and lots of love" to me. Just saying.
  • I watched (proudly) as America re-elected President Obama. 
  • I found out that I'm going to be an Aunt in 2013.
  • I became a runner. Yes, the girl who used to fake ankle injuries to get out of running in athletics is now a runner by choice. I only do 10-ish miles a week so far..but I'm working on it!
  • I watched one of my sweet college friends get married. If that doesn't make you feel old, I'm not sure what will!
  • I lost a few friends...but gained even better ones. 
  • I saw too many movies and spent way too much money - but wouldn't trade it for the world. 
  • I became a better version of myself.
I know there were more exciting things that happened in the past year..but those are definitely the memories that stand out the most. If 24 is half as good as 23..I'm in for another incredible year.

23 summed up in pictures:
























Blessed doesn't even begin to cover it. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Proud

I am proud of a lot of things. I'm proud of my country for voting YES on equality and NO on hate. I'm proud of how far we've come in 4 years (though I realize how much further we still have to go). I'm proud of myself and so many of the people I love for standing up for what we all believe in and not backing down - but doing it RESPECTFULLY. I'm proud of our President. I'm proud of my boyfriend for voting for the first time.

..but as much pride as this election filled me with, it also filled me with sadness. Sadness because of all of the hate that came out of the woodwork. I saw more racism this year than I had in 2008 - and the fact that people with these beliefs are still so prevalent just breaks my heart. I'm sad that people still can't seem to disagree without being disrespectful and hateful about it. People aren't "trash" just because they disagree with you. Not every person voted for Obama just because he is black. Democrats aren't, by definition, any more lazy than any other political party out there. People that voted Democrat aren't stupid and lazy. Hanging an effigy of the President from a noose isn't making a statement - it's ignorant and racist. Disagree if you  must...but do it without insulting others.

I'm often asked what made me vote for President Obama. Do I agree with him on 100% of the things he stands for? No. When I cast my ballot for President Obama, I was voting for the rights of women and LGBTQ people everywhere. Every American deserves the freedom of choice and every American deserves equality. Would I ever get an abortion? Absolutely not. Does that mean I have the right to tell another woman, DESPITE HER CIRCUMSTANCES, what she can and cannot do to a body that is not mine? Absolutely not. Am I gay? No, but many of the people that I love the most are. What they do in their house behind closed doors does not directly impact my life - so what right do we have to tell them that they can't get married? In the year 2012, civil rights shouldn't even be voted on.  He passed monumental health care legislation that so many presidents before him had tried with no success. He got rid of Don't Ask, Don't Tell; a terrible piece of legislation that denied gays the right to be themselves and hurt civil rights. His first act in office was to sign the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which gives fair pay to women, minorities, and the disabled. Was his first term in office perfect? No, but a lot of the blame cannot fall on him. With the House being controlled by Republicans, I do think he was been beaten and backed into a corner by those who want to see him fail. He may not have changed the whole world in four years, but what he has done cannot - and SHOULD NOT - be understated.

The majority of America wanted President Obama to continue his presidency. That's it. He won the electoral college and he won the popular vote. Those are the facts. You're not going to leave the country, so stop threatening to (plus, you'd be hard pressed to find another one that actually agrees with your views). Regardless of who is in the White House and what he stands for - Americans should ALL support the office. As President Obama said on election night: "We are an American family and we rise and fall as one nation and as one people."

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dedication

A twofer! I meant to add this to the end of the post I made earlier today..but I forgot once I started writing and then once I remembered I decided to just make a completely new post.

It's no secret that I've been on a weight loss journey for the past year. I've lost around 45 pounds and I'm so incredibly proud of how far I've come. I fell off of the wagon a little during the first few weeks of school (adjusting from a summer schedule to waking up at 5:15am and then dealing with 24 little bodies all day took a lot out of me!). I'm back on track and am LOVING every minute of it. Friday morning at 4:30am, I'll start week 9 of the Couch to 5K program. I cannot believe that after 3 more runs..I'll be a C25K graduate! I'm so proud of myself.

I also recently purchased a Polar FT7 heart rate monitor and I'm beginning to kick myself for waiting so long to get one. It's so incredibly gratifying to know EXACTLY how many calories I'm burning (as opposed to just estimating like I had been with MyFitnessPal) and it's also done a great job of motivating me to workout longer and harder to try to burn more calories than I did the day before.


This was from my very first run with my heart rate monitor (which was the beginning of week 8 in C25K). I had no idea I was working that hard during each run and was definitely underestimating my caloric burn. 

I really can't believe I'm on the downward side of this whole weight loss thing. When I started this journey, I know I was just as skeptical as everyone else. It's incredibly shocking to look back at pictures of myself from even a year ago and remember how pretty I thought I was. I definitely look better 40 pounds lighter! This week I'm going to sample some Shakeology shakes to see if I like them and as soon as I finish C25K I'm going to start running for DISTANCE and not just time..so I'll be able to go (hopefully) go faster. Who'd have thought I'd turn into a runner?!

So much has changed and I'm excited to see what else will change in the future. LIVING HEALTHY! 

Insane

It is TRULY insane that we're already in the middle of October, that I've been a teacher for more than 6 weeks, and that Grady and I have officially been together for over a year. So much has happened in the past few weeks and I haven't done a very good job (at all!) of keeping this thing updated.

When the school year started, the three English kindergarten classrooms at my school (mine included) had 24 and 25 students in them. It was complete chaos! Making sure everyone had a chance to go to the bathroom, managing centers and teacher groups, keeping hands to self when sitting on the carpet, walking down the hall - EVERYTHING was a huge production. Thankfully, our campus was given permission to hire a new kindergarten teacher and the process didn't take very long at all. My classroom shrank from 24 to 22 (two kids moved away the week we heard we'd be getting a new teacher) to 17! I went from having 6 kids at every table to having 4 kids at every table (one table has 5). We all got new spots on the carpet and we actually have some wiggle room! I went from doing 6 centers for ELAR to only doing 5 and still having no more than 4 kids in each center. I do miss the kids that went to the other class, but it's completely amazing how much our classroom dynamic changed once there were fewer bodies in the room.

On the subject of teaching..it's amazing to see how much my sweet kinder babies have changed in just 6 weeks. I still have 11 kids that tested in Tier 3 (that labels them all as "at risk"), but even those friends have improved SO MUCH! We do lots and lots of singing and dancing and moving in my room. I'm sure the people across the hall and next door thing we're loud and crazy - but we're learning so much more than we ever would if we sat still and stayed quiet. Our new favorite thing is to learn a new Koo Koo Kangaroo (you can look them up on Youtube!) song once a week. It's like Zumba for kids and they LOVE it. It's a great way to get energy out since we don't always have time for recess.

I really can't believe that we're already halfway through October. Next month I'll turn 24 and then the holiday season will be here! I'm also counting down the days until May (NKOTB cruise part two...woohoo!) and until June when my very best friend in the entire world comes to stay with Kayla and I for the entire summer. For those that don't know, my best friend's name is Emma and she lives all the way in Belgium! We talk non-stop all day, every day (thanks, iMessage) but we only get to see one another once a year. It totally doesn't seem like it's been 4 months since she was last here, but I suppose it's a good thing that time is flying!

And for my last bit of exciting information..Grady and I have officially been together for 1 year (and 4 days)! I still remember our first date and how quickly we fell for one another. It all seems so long ago. I'm truly blessed to have him in my life and even on my worst days - believe me, there are plenty - he loves me. I could go on and on about him like I have before, but I won't. Everyone that knows me knows how much happier I've been since he and I started dating and I think it's pretty evident that he's my soulmate. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. :)

This is the first picture that I can find of us. It's from New Years Eve 2011. We'd been dating for just about 2.5 months at this point.



This one was taken right before Valentine's Day 2012 - almost 4 months together!



This was my very favorite picture of us until recently. We took it out at Ransom Canyon in May (6 months!). I kind of hate taking pictures, so it took us about 50 shots to get one that I liked, haha.


And this one is from last week! Right before we went out to dinner to celebrate our first anniversary. :)



And that's all she wrote! Life isn't exactly exciting - but I'm loving every minute of it.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Routine

Wow! It's hard to believe school has been in session for about a month already. My kids and I are finally starting to settling into a routine and it's all becoming easier. Having 23 little ones has been such a challenge! There's just not enough space in our classroom and not enough patience in this teacher for so many 5 year olds confined into one space. Fortunately for us, we found out on Friday afternoon (perfect timing!) that our school has been given the go-ahead to begin the hiring process to find a fifth kindergarten teacher. This means that all of our classes will soon shrink by 6! It'll be sad to see some of them go and it will definitely be interesting to see how the classroom dynamic changes once the new teacher is hired, but it'll be so worth it in the end. With the smaller classes, I'll be able to have smaller groups for teacher centers and more time to work with the kids who really need me. I'm excited - but ready to get the whole thing over with so I can get my "new" class focused.

We've learned three words so far; I, can, and we. It's so much fun to put short sentences on the board and listen to them choral read it! Although I'm typically completely exhausted at the end of every single day..I usually come home with several funny stories. I've definitely got a few comedians on my hands, haha.

Away from the classroom, there hasn't been too much going on. Kindergarten has quite literally taken over my life! I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Inadequate

..it's kind of a funny word. How exactly do you measure adequacy when it comes to relationships or life events or when it comes to your purpose or placement in someone's life? It's sad how easy it is for someone to make you feel inadequate and it's even more sad when you realize that they either don't know they're doing it or simply don't care.

So where do I feel inadequate and how do I change it? Well, the second half of that question is one that I wish I could answer. But I can't. I'm not sure who can and I'm not sure I even want to. I feel inadequate when it comes to relationships. Not in my relationship with Grady or even with most of my friends - but with my family. It's not a new feeling and it's not one that I feel with every member of my family. But I've never quite felt valued by the majority. It's in the little things. No Facebook comments. No texts. No phone calls. Heck, most of them probably won't even realize this is about them because they don't see anything wrong with the way they act. It's kind of a bummer to always feel like your second best - if you even manage to be a blip on the radar at all. And then there are the family members that go out of their way to make me feel inadequate when compared to them. They put themselves up on a pedestal and seem to look down on the rest of us. I don't understand it. I don't know why people paint a picture of something that they're not. But I've come to accept the fact that when I speak of family, I'm speaking largely of the family that I got the privilege of choosing; my friends. I don't need relationships with the family members that have gone out of their way to make me feel inadequate. I don't need them to see this and feel bad about the mistakes they've made. Why? Because I've got incredible friends.

Emma. Emma has, in the few years that I've known her, completely changed my life. Friendship with Emma is easy. It comes naturally. She's like my other half. The only problem is that Emma lives in Belgium and I only get to see her once a year. But that doesn't make our friendship any less valuable. We talk to one another every single day, usually for hours out of the day. We occasionally talk on the phone. She's the kind of friend that everyone should be lucky enough to have. She spent 2 weeks with Kayla and I this summer and Kayla fell in love with her too. I don't think Emma realizes how important she is to me. Her role in my life is part of what makes me feel adequate; part of what makes me who I am.

Katie. Katie and I have been best friends for as long as we can remember. Do we talk every day? No. Do we see each other as often as we should? No. But her friendship is one that I know I can always count on. We've had our fair share of bumps in the road for sure. And even though I'm not always the best example and even though I sometimes cause fights that (in hindsight) I shouldn't, she's always there.

Kayla. Kayla is my sister, but she's also my best friend. We share so much more than the average sister that sometimes it's hard to tell where I begin and she ends! We're roommates. We're travel companions.We complete each other's sentences and share countless inside jokes. We both love Harry Potter and the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block. We both teach kindergarten. We laugh at stupid jokes. We have a song to go with just about everything. She gets me and my weirdness and even my attitude. What are sisters for, right?

Grady. Grady, as I've mentioned here before, is my soulmate. He loves me unconditionally despite the numerous flaws that I have. He knows just what to say to make me mad, but he also always has the right words to make me feel better. He makes me laugh. We have fun doing nothing and we have fun doing anything at all. He tells jokes that aren't funny and sometimes he's the only one that laughs. He doesn't like to clean and he doesn't always understand the "big" words that I use. But he's smart. He's smart and he's cute and he's amazing. And the best part? He's mine.

Those four friendships aren't the only ones that are important to me. They're just a few of the most important. There are other friends. Friends from work and friends from college. Friends from different states and sometimes even different countries. Friends that have become more like family than anything else.

So inadequacy. I said that it was a funny word. It's funny because I can feel completely inadequate in some areas of my life while feeling overwhelmingly blessed and loved and supported and wanted and needed in others. I don't know who gets the final call on what's adequate and what's not. But I do know that at the end of the day, I have more than I deserve and much more than I need. God is good. Always.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Whirlwind

..that's the best word I can think of to describe my first week as a kindergarten teacher. It was insane/fun/exhausting and everything in between! I officially have 24 kiddos..which is, in my opinion, way too many five-year-olds in one classroom. Thankfully they're all pretty well behaved - so it'll be an interesting (but fun!) adventure. Friday night I was in bed and sound asleep by 9:30, and I slept until 8:30 this morning. Definitely some very, VERY much needed sleep.

I still can't believe how much responsibility falls on my shoulders, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I already had one little friend who had a "lightbulb" moment this week..and there's nothing quite like the feeling that gives you. This child came to me not recognizing his own name..and by Friday he could write his first letter! It's a baby step, but it's amazing progress for only the first week of school.

I'm very lucky to have a sister that also teaches kindergarten..because we get to plan together! We stayed until a little after 7 on Friday getting all of our centers together for the next week. I think people would honestly be surprised by how much time/energy teachers/money (especially kindergarten teachers) have to invest on a weekly basis. I'm excited about finally getting to teach the kids something other than rules and procedures. Watching them learn new things just might be my favorite thing about kindergarten (besides naptime!).

Today..mom, Kayla and I went shopping. I'm in between sizes at the moment, however, and could only find one dress that I really liked. So when I got home I got online and ordered a few more. It's almost sad how much I enjoy shopping for teacher clothes these days, haha.

I really don't think there's anything interesting to report other than that. The workout schedule had to sit on the back burner while I got used to my work schedule again..so I'm definitely looking forward to getting back on track with a run tomorrow morning. My life officially revolves around school - and I'm not sure I'd have it any other way!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Unbelievable

It's completely unbelievable to me, even now, that this classroom I'm sitting in (yes, I'm already working on Saturdays!) is mine. 21 kindergarten children will walk into this room on Monday morning and be mine. Mine to love for the next 9 months. Mine to learn with. Mine to laugh with. Mine to make memories with. Mine to teach. Mine.

It's a lot of pressure. I have to teach them how to read. I have to teach them everything there is to know about school and how we behave here. But it's a responsibility that I'm blessed and excited to have. It won't always be easy and I'm sure there will be moments when it won't always be fun - but it is a job that I will always, always love. The things I'm going to do in room 128 are things that will shape the rest of these young lives. Maybe I'll even help them change the world..who knows!

I can't wait to see how it all goes on Monday and I can't wait to get the year started. I'm looking forward to hearing "Ms. Selmon!" from 21 little mouths (I'm sure it'll be more like "Teacher! Teacher!" at first) and really looking forward to getting to know each kiddo that I'll be spending my days with.


A Teacher's Prayer
 
Lord, let me be just what they need.
 
If they need someone to trust, let me be trustworthy.
If they need sympathy, let me sympathize.
If they need love (and they do need love!), let me love in full measure.
 
Let me not anger easily, Lord, but let me be just.
Permit my justice to be tempered in your mercy.
 
When I stand before them, Lord, let me be strong and good and honest and loving.
And let me be as strong and good and honest and loving as I look to them.
 
Help me to counsel the anxious, crack the covering of the shy, and temper the rambunctious with a gentle attitude.
 
Permit me to teach only the truth.
Help me to inspire so that learning does not cease at the classroom door.
 
Let the lessons they learn make their lives fruitful and happy.
 
And let me learn the lessons they teach.
 
Amen!
 
 
My students won't be the only ones who can't sleep on Sunday night! This is going to be a great year..I can feel it. :)

Saturday, August 18, 2012

A Fresh Start

Wow! It's been 2 years since I wrote on my old blog..and I have changed more in those two years than I ever thought possible. The last time I wrote, I was preparing to student teach (which I did in Frenship ISD) and had just left my wonderful job at the Texas Tech CDRC. I was unhappy about the way that I looked and unhappy with the direction that my life was going in. So what's changed since then?

Well, I'm getting ready to start my career. That's right..not a job, but a CAREER that I will have for the rest of my life. I'm so excited! There are currently 17 sweet little kindergarten babies enrolled in my class and I cannot wait to meet them all. I'll be teaching at McWhorter Elementary in Lubbock ISD and I love  my school family already. My team is wonderful and I know we're going to serve a student population that really needs us. I've also lost 40+ pounds! I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm finally happy with the girl I see looking back at me in the mirror. I've taken up running (which I LOVE) and I feel better than I've felt in years. Here's a good before and during:


But perhaps the biggest change in my life is that I'm in love. Yes, head-over-heels in love with the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life. I feel so lucky! It's definitely not a feeling I ever thought I'd have..but now that I've found it I wouldn't trade it for anything. Grady is wonderful. He's everything I ever imagined for myself and so much more. He makes me happy, he makes me laugh, he listens to me..and he just loves me. He loves me unconditionally, despite all of my flaws (and there are many!) and I'm so thankful for him. God sure knew what he was doing when he chose him for me!



Not everything in my life is perfect. There are people in my family who make me feel inadequate and forgotten (family closer to me than you might think), I've lost touch with friends I thought I would treasure for a lifetime, and there are always those day-to-day worries that gnaw at my mind. But more than anything else...I'm blessed. Blessed to have the best friends in the world (my sister Kayla, my BFF since childhood Katie, my other "sister" Emma, Patrick, and Julia), blessed to have a new car and a job that enables me to have more than I need, blessed to be able to touch the lives of countless students and their families, blessed to be in love and loved by the man of my dreams, and blessed to be alive. It doesn't get much better than this!

There are, of course, details (wonderful details!) of what has happened in my life in the two years since I last wrote in a blog. Immediately springing to mind are: NKOTBSB, Backstreet Boys in Kansas City, NKOTB cruise, my year at Ramirez, LeakyCon 2011, just to name a few. But for the most part, the most important events are covered here.

I guess that's a good enough first entry, right? I should warn you now that I'm an incredibly opinionated person. Chances are you're going to see something here that you don't agree with..but that's just who I am! I say what I think and I speak from the heart.